When a girl feels like this....

There's nothing can be done.
Except this....

Audrey's Adventure's

Welcome aboard the blogging train, cute girl.

This little gem will be a private showing only.

All are invited- minus the crazies.

So leave me a comment with your email and let's head on over and enjoy

what promises to be one of the most entertaining blogs on the block.

Might I give a quick shout out to the best blogging elf ever...

Dear Blogging Elf,

You made my daughters Chirstmas dreams come true.

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You.

Good News....

I'm not dead.

Just busy.
Like everyone else on the planet.
Tomorrow is ear marked as my day to-

STAY HOME!

Stay home and be with my kidlets.
And possible practice a little slave driving and bribery.
Hey, can I help it if the Jolly Old Guy promotes doing chores and having a clean house?
Hardly.

SYTYCD critiques from a six year old.

Alright, so when the conversation first started with Elsie I thought it would be a funny status on face book. Not so much when she just kept cracking me up....

~Kathryn dances~
Elsie: "Mom, is that dress immodest?"
Me: (answering in my usual sytycd is on way, and by that i mean basically ignoring my children) "Ya, I guess."
Elsie: "So, would you be arrested if I wore that?"
Me: (doing a double take now) "Would I be arrested?"
Elsie: "Ya, you. For me wearing that?"
Me: "No, Weirdo."

~Elanor dances that techno dance~
Elsie: "Well, that's a strange dress. And a weird dance."

~Elanor dances the passadoble'~
Elsie: "Well, your too old to dance that one Mom."
Me: "Too old?"
Elsie: "Ya, and I don't think you are skinny enough to wear that dress any way."
Me: "Gee, thanks." (i'm a little discouraged now cuz i was planning on running out and getting that dress tomorrow. bummer.)
Elsie: (putting her hands on my waste) "Well...is that girl skinnier than you??"

~Ashliegh dances with Jakob~
Elsie: "Ohhhh, that's a pretty dress. Would you let me wear that to play in the back yard?"
Me: (in my brain) "Sure, because we often wear ball gowns to play in the back yard."

So, just in case you aren't already a huge fan of So You Think You Can Dance, you should watch it with Elsie because she makes it all that much better.

Let's just keep the fact that she was watching it with me so that we could mute it during the commercials so that she could read to me in order to get her reading done, between you and me. Mmmkay? Thanksomuch.
What? Don't judge. I was on single parent duty tonight. And minus one oldest child.

*p.s. note to self: a dvr/tivo whatever it is thing would most likely improve parenting skills. possibly only marginally.

Installment Three: The Big Event.

This is it friends. The end of the exciting on going saga of my super adventurous trip.
I'll give you a moment to try to pull your selves together....
Are you all okay now? Good.
Let's get on with it then, shall we?

First of all, you should know that Amanda is weird. No one brings out the weird in me like Amanda does. In fact, when our brother agreed to run the Wasatch Back with us next year his exact words were, "I'll do it only if you two won't be weird." Ya, right, good luck with that.
....Any hoo, here's Amanda 'observing' Molly beating her mint center.

Just because I love you all and clearly I have no shame, here is a picture of me beating a center for my mom. Please, don't judge my obvious pudginess. I already told you my mom is a fantastic cook. And it was chocolate week. And I am wearing bare minimum 6 layers of clothing. What? Idaho is cold. I know my beauty is amazing. Try not to hate me, look past your jealousy and love me for what's on the inside. :) Which, at the moment, is a lot of wintery-good comfort stuff.

Here's Molly pouring out a center. I suppose that I have done this in kind of a backward order...oh well, you'll just have to deal. Please ignore the fact that Molly looks so pulled together and presentable. Let's pretend like everyone there looked like me....a little scary.

This is my sister in law, Very Pregnant Natalie, dipping. Very Pregnant Natalie did not want me to take too many pictures of her. Might I toss in this little tidbit? I could NOT be happier with my brothers spouse choices. They all married VERY well. Nice job, Boys. It was so fun to spend time with all my sisters in law as well.

And finally here is a sampling of some of the deliciousness that were created that magical week.
All told, we figured that with all of us (Me, my mom, sisters and sister in laws) we dipped:
-over 70 pounds of chocolate
-well over 2000 pieces of candy
-weighing in at at least 160 pounds

Now, THAT is a LOT of chocolatey goodness.

Your welcome, World. We do what we can.
Some people strive for world peace,
Others just try to make the world a little bit sweeter place to be.
:o)

Installment Numero Dos.

And here we have Idaho,

So, I went to my parents house for the candy extravaganza.
I love it there.
No, seriously, I LoVe being there.
If ever I have some sort of terminal illness and I need some solace and peace,
take me there.

Plus, my mom is a fantastic cook.
I eat a lot of food at her house.
And I do mean
A LOT.


Got Milk?
They sure do.
Aren't cows great?

Those little dots out there that you can't really make out because-I-was-too-cold-and-too-lazy-to-walk-out-into-the-field-to-get-a-better-picture-of-Ya, those are sheep.
Every winter the sheep come to town.
Well, okay, not town exactly, but they do come to the fields.
I love it when the sheep are there.
They come and stay on the land for a little while and graze in the fields.

Wanna know a little secret?
I think being a sheep herder would an okay job.
I mean, if I didn't have this whole Mom/Wife thing going.
You could live in that cozy little trailer,
read to your hearts content,
enjoy a lovely cup of hot choco curled up with a book,
have a couple of fantastic dogs to keep you company,
travel all over,
walk every day through the sheep
and enjoy the fresh air.
It doesn't sound so bad.
Solitude sure seems like it would be a beautiful thing.
I wouldn't know,
I haven't had any in over fourteen years.
Not complaining, just saying...

Alright, tis the season to be busy so that's it for this installment
of Farmgirl's Idaho Winter Adventure.

Survival at theThe Homestead.

I am realizing I may need to cover all this stuff in blog post installments.
We're all good with that, right?
So, here we go...

Installment #1: Survival at the Homestead.

Dear old Mikey was kind enough to cover for me for an entire week so I could go to Idaho and candy make my brains out. He is pretty much my favorite husband. Ya, I know, I only have the one--still, my favorite.

The plan was for me to leave on a Saturday and return the next Saturday. One whole week. I did take Grant with me, that still left him with four hoodlums to deal with.

The night before I left Mike called a meeting with the kids to "plan" out the week. I over heard it from the kitchen....it went something like this:
Okay guys, Mom is leaving in the morning and we all need to pitch in and do extra jobs besides your weekly chores in order to get through the week. Now there are jobs that only Mom does, so we are going to need to divide those up. I have a list here of the five things that just Mom does...

Hold the phone!!
Ex-squeeze me?
Just five?
Just the five things that I do...???
Hummm, it seems like I do more than five things.
Guess not.
That's what's so handy about being Mom, I just do the five things a day and I'm golden.
Sweet.
This comment cracked me up, I know he came up with just the 'five things'
that they needed to do daily in order to survive.
Five was the magic number because there were five of them left here at home.
....Any hoo....

....on goes the meeting of the minds and they divide up my 'five jobs' and plan out their week. I came home to a relatively clean house, children that were still alive, and a husband that didn't abandon ship in my absence.

They did awesome. Just a couple of things that need to be shared with the public at large:
1) The phone call from Mike on Monday night. "I'll be really glad when your back. (Me thinking: Uh...Honey, it's just Monday. You do realize I'm not coming back until Saturday, right?) I'm not used to thinking about the kids at all during the day. I didn't realize how much I really don't worry about them, I leave that all up to you I guess." I love him.
2) Mike telling me last night that he had decided before hand that the best way to get through the week was to pretend like it wasn't ever going to end. Pretend like he was a single dad forever. He has assured me, he does not want to ever be a single dad. And since I have told him that if he ever left me he would get the children, I think I have him right where I want him. Mwahhaahaahaa.
3)My discovery that the microwave did not fall under one of the 'five things Mom does' list. Well, there's six. We're up to six things Mom does.

Believe me when I tell you this picture in no way, shape, or form does justice to the disgusting mess that was, in fact, my microwave.
(Yes, Anne, your lasagna lived on in the micro...until my return)
When Grant saw it he said, "Look Mom! The microwave has the chicken pox!"
He even tried to show the kids the chicken pox microwave when they got home from school.
Fortunately, I had already discovered the cure.
He was marginally disappointed.

So much to post, So much to recover from....

Seriously, tomorrow may be the day I feel like I am actually the

Queen of the Castle once again.
Which means I can finally find the time I want to catch you all up on the
many ramblings rattling around in my head.
Trust me, there are many.
I know you all wait with baited breathe,
don't try to hide it.
First and fore most, this is what you need to know....
Chocolate G-O-O-O-O-O-D

If ever you need a little pick me up,
spend a week up to your elbows in
Chocolate.
That's good stuff right there, I tell ya, good stuff.

Hang tight my peeps.
Full report coming up.

Idaho Welcomes....ME!

Hi-dee Ho from the Gem State.

Just hanging out enjoying the calm before the chocolate storm that will be touching down here tomorrow morning.

Oooooo I love me some chocolate fun!

Me Mum and I will be starting the week out,

but before it is through all of my sisters will be here.

THIS is unprecedented, Folks.

The only thing that can improve on chocolate week is sharing it with my sistas.

I can't say for sure, but I'm thinking the Nelson booty walk might make an appearance.
I have decided to make it my own special priority to be on quality control.

That's me....always willing to take one for the team.

I'm good like that.

Girls, Girls, Girls.

Getting the Christmas stuff out always involves a certain amount of sorting and organizing of all the stuff that accumulates itself in nice little piles throughout my house.
I kinda like that part- shocker, I know.
Any hoo, I decided to get all the Holiday Decor out early this year since I will be AWOL the first week of December.
I came across a bunch of papers that needed to be filed, mixed in with those I found a treasure.

Side Note:
Should we talk for a moment about things we are grateful for?
Tis the season, right?
All righty, then...
I am so grateful I have girls, I am so happy they have each other and that they were born Boom, Boom and Boom.
Three in a row...couldn't have planned it better myself.

Back to my find.
I remember seeing this paper a loonngg time ago and sticking it aside knowing it was a keeper.
Here you go blogging world--

How to Be A Drawing Princess List
(written by Lucy.
composed by three sweet girls.)

And because I'm wondering if you all will be able to read it, I'll transcribe below.

1. Do a curtsy right.
2. Speak with kind words.
3. Don't throw stuff.
4. No shouting.
5. Must know her tones.
6. Must be able to balance 5 books.
7. Chew with mouth closed.
8. Don't talk with mouth full of food.
9. Eat with your fork.
10. No elbows on the table.
11. Don't lick your lips.
12. Must know how to draw a straight line.
13. Say please and thank you.
14. No gulping loud.
15. Must know how to skate.
16. Must know how to do ballet.
17. Must brush hair every morning.
18. Must bath every night.
19. No saying stuff like "Ukk"
20. No showing your privates to other people.
21. Must know karate.
22. No kicking any one on purpose.
23. No hitting any one on purpose.
24. No screaming.
25. Wear pretty dresses.
26. Follow instructions always.

There you are.
It's a rough life, lot's to remember and all.
How to live the Princess life, or any life really...
Good stuff.
I love these little people.
:o)

One week ago...

I was spending some quality time with

Me Mum.
We were doing a chocolate demo for Super Saturday.
It was so much fun.
She is a really nice lady.
She took time out of her busy life to...
-Make all the delicious chocolates you see there on the table.
(there was a lot)
-Spent a day shopping to get all the ingredients to make all the
delicious chocolates you see there on the table.
-Came all the way down here from Home Sweet Home (Preston)
to do the demonstration with me.

AND
-She let me go with her to get all of her grand kid Christmas shopping done
during her visit.
(it's always fun to help someone else spend money)
What a Gal!!

One week from today....

I will be in Preston ready to start a furry a chocolate making magic happen.
Can't wait!
I haven't been home to do chocolates in over ten years.
OooLaLa
This'll be grrreat!

Welcome, Guest Blogger.

A plane ride

Hello people.
Usually I am reading the post, not writing it.
But not today. Today I am "borrowing" my mothers blog.
But that is because of numerous reasons. Reasons being...
1. ya just gotta carry on that talent.
2. I am a farm girls daughter it is in my nature.
3. today I had the most amazing experience.
O.k. so I bet you are just dying to hear what happened.
So here it is.
Today Brooke Duvall and her dad took me flying.
FLYING!
Like in a plane!
In the sky!
Off the ground!
O.k. so, we arrived at the air port. Brooke showed me this plane.


We were about ready to take to the sky's.
(I was all ready a little sky sick!)



I could see my house!




Can you find yours?
(good luck!)

P.S. for those of you who have not already figured it out.
This is Audrey!

The Challenge. To myself.

Life's road has been, well....a bit bumpy of late.
Life's road is supposed to be bumpy.
I'm okay with bumps.
I am Farmgirl, after all. I do tough things really well.

You know, I look at life as a down-scalator. There is no standing still. You are either moving forward or you are moving backward.
You choose.

Over the last few months I have felt like I have needed to continually raise the bar in order to keep getting the help I am sorely in need of.
That's a good thing.
Raising the bar is a good thing.
So, the latest and greatest is to take on something I have always struggled with...scripture reading.

The challenge? Read the Book of Mormon by my birthday, February 8th.
I started last week and I am already into Second Nephi.
Good, right?

There ya go.
If anyone wants to go ahead and jump on this here band wagon, feel free.
It should be a great ride.
:o)

Halloween Rundown.

*Disclaimer: This was a weird Halloween week for me.
I haven't been on my game of late.

First things first.
Carving Pumpkins.
This is normally the Family Home Evening before the big Spook-Day tradition.
Some how this year I just didn't see this one coming. Didn't even have pumpkins purchased last Monday. A quick trip to our trusty neighborhood grocer and that was taken care off.
I should throw in that carving pumpkins rivals Christmas tree light stringing in Mike's book of 'fun things to do'.
He is, how ever, the only one the kids want to help them with their pumpkins.
And, with a little bit of fore warning, he is a pretty darn good sport about it.
This year it was a two day event. Drawing faces on Monday. Cleaning out and carving on Tuesday.P.S.
It was crazy hair day at the elementary. Lucy and Elsie went all out.

They were all happy with the end result. That made me happy.
Yes, Adam's is a Led Zeplin jack-o-lantern.
Ya, I didn't get a picture until today so they are sorta caving in.
Toldcha I'm off.

No group-kid pictures this year, what's up with that? I always line them up on the front porch.
What can I say? I'm off.

Grant. A skeleton. Again.
Good thing he looks so cute in it.
This boy DID NOT want to wear a costume.
At. All.
We talked of many an option. Not interested.
Finally, a desperate call to Stace on Friday, one pair of Skeleton jammies later and we called it good. FYI he is sitting next to the 'handing out' bowl (pre-trick or treating).
Got right on the sugar high, that one did.

Pirate Elsie.
Don't ye be thinkin' O takin' me booty, Matey!

All right, Lucy gets two pictures. Her costume cracked me up. She decided she wanted to be a Granny. She was hilarious!

Ahhh, Goose.

Audrey was a vampire.
I love 5$ finds at the D.I. and she loved the dress.
I'm not gonna lie, the older this girl gets the more I fear for her dates when they meet her very protective father.

Adam didn't end up dressing up this year.
The neighborhood party was Friday, they had already made plans to go paint balling.
Saturday they had a party=no costumes=no trick or treating.
He and his buddies had a lovely idea though...
Flashers.
Maybe next year.
Adam did make time to take Grant trick or treating, what a good big brother.
In Grant's words, his "Best Brother".
I know, competition is slim.

One Sunday afternoon nap for Mom and Dad, which resulted in no parental supervision, which resulted in a major candy swap meet for the kiddies, which resulted in an all out candy consumption smorgasbord and almost all the candy is gone.
Sounds good to me.

There you have it. Halloween rundown.
Done and Done.

By the By can you all believe I have been at this whole blogging thing for a year now?
Weird, huh?
Who'da thunk it?

Breakfast of Champions.

There are a few things that happen in our house--for sure.
Every day.
Rain or Shine.
In sickness and in health.
Till death do us part.

One of these is Mike's midnight snack.
He always has a midnight snack.
Always.
Whether it's a couple of cookies, a spoonful of peanut butter, a random treat,
a glass of milk, a bowl of cereal...
it's something.
Every night.

Another happening is Grant's early riser-ness.
Now, I do have high hopes that this is a phase.
A very long phase, but a phase all the same.
Regardless,
for the time being, he's up early.
And I do mean early.
Hello, 5 am!

In my perfect world he would just head on into the family room
and start himself a movie.
(Cuz, he can do that you know)
I don't live in that world.
I live in the world where he comes into my room to help me welcome in the new day.
Every. Day.

Last week I thought I had ventured into the other side of the looking glass.
I woke up at six.
Six!
On my own.
NO Grant assistance.
~Que Hallelujah choir~

What did I come out in the kitchen to find?
~cancel Hallelujah choir~
A little laziness on Mike's part
(not putting away the sugar after a midnight bowl of Chex)
and one very satisfied Mr. Grant D

That, my friends, is a cup FULL of sugar.
Bear in mind, the kid generally wakes up close to 5.
I came out just after 6.
We are talking about a good 40 minutes of a boy and his sugarcup.

I like to call this picture,
"Please...don't kill me Mom, it's all really my Dad's fault anyway."
I have to say, I can't really argue logic like that.

:o)
So go ahead, just give those kiddies a cup-o-sugar for breakfast.
Literally.
That's how we do it 'round here.

Casualties: 1

One of these piggies is not like the others.
Second toe. Left foot.
Poor toenail.
I don't think he's gonna make it.
Ragnar did him in.
Not gonna lie, I'm kinda proud.
Isn't that the sign of a real runner?

And now I have posted a picture of my feet.
Don't we all feel just a little bit closer?
It's so nice to tear down all these barriers.
Who says feet are ugly?

It could of been worse, I could of posted a picture of my other milestone
reminder...
stretch marks.
You can thank me later.

Just me and my Boy.

Grant and I are holding down the fort this afternoon. It is VERY rare for us not only to have our own crew running a muck, but we usually have at least a few extra friends after school.

I was sitting here at the computer just messing around, he was racing up and down the hall-sporting his Thomas undies and Double Diamond Dairy t-shirt- showing me his muscles and how fast he can run and as I watched him I was over come with how lucky I am to have him here.

That little stink really gave us a run for our money...one sick little bambino. I don't look at the pictures very often, but since I was sitting right here I pulled them up...

Six weeks old, he weighed only one ounce more than the day he was born. This picture was taken the day he was admitted into the hospital. He had already been under the lights for a few hours when this picture was taken. Pumpkin Boy was already pinking up, you can really see the difference around his eyes where his mask covered. The trouble was he had multiple symptoms. He was so jaundice, his levels were at an 18- should have been nonexistent or a 1 at six weeks. Compound that with his failure to thrive and that fact he puked up everything. He was a mess.

My momgut told me it was pyloric stynosis. Grandmagut confirmed- we have a family history. The doctor thought so too.

The test was negative. That night I spent in the hospital was horrifically long. Not knowing was the worst part. Thank the heavens above for my sweet nurse, Bobbi. We made it through the night together.

Grant's brilliant doctor ordered a different test, testing for the same thing the next day and sure enough...pyloric stynosis! One surgery later and we were one our way to a healthy boy. Never did figure out the multiple symptoms. But I have my boy, and that's good enough for me.

Three years later and I couldn't love him more.

Keeping the Flu at bay.

I'm pretty sure with hygiene standards as high as this...

(Sticky Fingers G. is what we like to call him)

we should have
no
worries of catching any sort of illness this season.

All for a Medal?!

Are you all ready for another Ragnar rundown?
Ohhhh, goody.
Cuz here it comes!!

If you ran the Wasatch Back and the Vegas Ragnar this year you got a special edition
Saints and Sinners medal.
Ten out of the twelve of our team members ran both,
hence the team name...
All for a Medal?!

We decided to decorate our vans accordingly.
Van #1 (my van) : Sinners
Van #2 : Saints
btw, that's Louie-short for Lucifer- on the grill of my van there, he was our mascot.


Jonathan started us off. Strong. Ya, he pretty much dusted the competition.
He is one fast hombre. That boy runs like the wind blows, I tell ya.


Here I am waiting to start my first run. All decked out in my devil horns.
Might I take a moment here to say something about Vegas...
It is freaking hot!
I know it's cooled down from the summer blast furnace, but Holy Hannah!!
With my own personal solar panel (black hair) I was a real live Hottie. ;o)


After we all got in our first run we went to hang out at the first major exchange while van #2 got a run under their belts.
Here's the thing, you are supposed to sleep at a major exchange.
It doesn't really work out that way so much.
Everyone lays out their blankets, you all lay down, you all close your eyes, you all pretend to sleep but, in the end you all give up the whole idea
and take '8 is enough' pictures instead.
This is a good time to introduce you to my van.
We have Jonathan(my brother), Me(farmgirl), My 27 chins(who need no introduction), Amanda(my sister), Tawna(amanda's friend), Dick(penny's dad) & Penny(amanda's friend and fellow prestonite and dixie johnson's little sister fyi for all my p.h.s. buddies).

Okey dokey, here's the part were I tell you about the night running.
No pictures, sorry.
Jonathan, Dick, Penny & Tawna all get their second run finished.
Tawna hands off to me, I take off for my 3.6 miles.
The plan was for my team to meet me at 1 mile to give me water.
I had gone about a half mile, I could see one runner a little way ahead of me and ahead of her I could see two people walking.
Bare in mind we are out in the middle of NO WHERE.
I was thinking maybe the two people were her team members.
She runs right past these two and they just keep walking.
I am came up to them and saw it is was just two guys, clearly no part of the race at all.
I was a little concerned, but by now my team van was in sight so I just ran past them.
Tawna gave me water and I took off again. We had decided for them to meet me at 2 miles.
Luckily, right as they were pulling away, they saw these two guys start to run towards me and felt just as uneasy as I did about them and decided to shadow me.
THANK YOU TEAM!!!
So the van and I played leap frog for next 1/2 mile until the two guys were no where in sight.
The rest of the run was great, I ran next to Lake Mead.
Moon over the lake...Be-A-U-ti-Ful!

Night run fiasco: phase two.
I passed off to Amanda.
She had two miles of trail running starting at 1 1/2 miles in. I got out to give her water and Jonathan yelled from the van, "Does she want someone to go with her?" She said yes.
I'm right there, it's only two miles, Jonathan was in the van with his shoes off so I decided to just go with her.
We started on a bike trail. After about a mile we veer onto a dirt road, after another two miles we were running next to some industrial plant of some sort. A couple of runners start running back towards us because they came to a locked gate.
Ugghhh, we were off the course!
So we turned around and started heading back. A security guard came along in his truck and took us all back, we weren't the first to make this mistake.
(note to Ragnar people--Mark the dang course!)
By this point I am exhausted.
Amanda made the comment she was surprised Jonathan hadn't come looking for us.
I kept telling Amanda to leave me, but I didn't have a vest or a head lamp so she stayed until we were back in sight of the road and we could see the vans, what a good little sister.
At that point she took off.
I made my way back to the van to find out that Jonathan had indeed gone looking for us.
We missed him coming the other direction and never crossed paths.
He ended up running almost back to the beginning of the trail before he realized we weren't there. He sprinted back to the van, got the full scoop and headed back out to finish Amanda's run with her.
Whew, what an adventure!!

Amanda handed off to van #2 and we headed out to our last major exchange.
Jonathan started running again at about 4:30 am.
p.s. once he put those running shoes on-he didn't take them off again the rest of the day.
He was prepared to run at a moments notice--
Have I mentioned he is a stinkin' fast runner?
He had told us that every leg of both Ragnar's he had 13 road kills (passed 13 people), but he wasn't so sure how this leg was going to be.
His finish was amazing.
He was coming at us fff-aaast, about 1/4 mile left to go.
He was going after runners that were a long way ahead of him.
We figured he was trying to get his 13 road kills.
He passed the last one 5 feet from the finish line,
ran through, raised his arms in the air and said,
"Fourteen!"
I know this is a crappy picture, but he was so awesome I had to post it any way.


Next up, Dick.
Dick's night adventure was that he forgot to change into his running shoes and ran in some old tennis shoes. So this morning run was mighty painful.
He was great. A lot of fun to have in the van.
He told us he wouldn't run again unless it was on a team with a bunch of old guys. :)
Don't worry, Jonathan ran Dick's last mile with him too.


Dick passed off to Penny.
Oh, I'm sorry. Did I fail to mention that Penny is 5+ months pregnant?
She is. And she is a machine. And that is one proud Daddy standing next to her.


From Penny to Tawna.
Tawna kept saying she wasn't much of a runner, but she did great and had some serious hills to climb in the heat.



Runner #5 coming atcha.
That would be me.
The running rock star.
I'd love to tell you that I looked even remotely like that during my 4.1 miles.
Unfortunately, it was only for the last 20 yards.



I handed off to Amanda.
Who is saying in this picture,
"Holy Crap! Did you see how I didn't let that dude beat me? How I raced him to the finish and won?"
Yes, My Dear, we did. And it was fantastic!
She handed off to van #2 and they brought it on home.


Here's the whole team at the finish line.
Jonathan, Penny, Me, Tawna, Amanda, Rocky, Derrik, Dick, Marcia, Mike, Dixie & Natalie
Just a bunch of Saints and Sinners.
Looking for a good time.
Crazy enough to run a combined 171 miles.

For me?
3.5 miles + 3.6 miles + 4.1 miles + 4 miles with Amanda = 15.2 miles
One 3 mile training run last week.
A cough that belongs to a chain smoker.
Total exhaustion yesterday.
Seriously sore muscles today....


All for a medal?!
You betcha!!!

Say what???

Alright friends, I may have had a temporary lapse of sanity.
Remember way back, way way back in June when I ran that crazy race the Wasatch Back?
It was so much fun!
LoVeD iT!!
At that point in time I had every intention of running the Vegas Ragnar in October.
(The Vegas Ragnar that is a mere 10 short days away, p.s.)
I discovered I had a conflict and I had to back out.
My spot was filled- I took a very long running hiatus and went on with my life minus a training schedule.
Side note: My conflict was rescheduled last week and next weekend is now open. No matter, my spot was filled months ago and I haven't trained any way, right? Wrong.
Fast forward to yesterday when Amanda called me to say that 2 spots had opened up in her van and she wanted Jonathan and I to run with her.
That's Jonathan, my brother.
Jonathan, my brother who just ran the Top of Utah marathon with a finishing time of 3:30.
And me.
Me, who has done NO RUNNING WHAT SO EVER IN MONTHS!!!!!
So what was my answer?
After a few moments of humming and hahhing
"I'm in."
I'm doing this.
It would appear that I have lost my freaking mind!

Okay, so here's the low down.
I am runner number five on a team of twelve.
I have three legs to run.
First leg: 3.5 miles
Second leg: 3.6 miles
Third leg: 3.9 miles
None of these are a crazy far distance. But, I will be running them all within about a 30someodd (or less?) hour time frame, ugh. There are some hills involved too. My last leg is a gradual uphill the whole way.
I'm not gonna lie.....I'm sceered.

The good news is that I ran this morning and it was purty durn good.
Remember, I'm normally a ten-minute mile kind of a gal...when I have been running-which I haven't.
This morning I did three miles in....are you ready?....are you really ready?
Drum roll please...
28:59!
High fives all around!

And now lets have a moment of silence to pray for my poor decrepit body.
Let us pray that my legs will not collapse.
Let us pray that my lungs will not wheeze their last breath.
Let us pray that my heart will not explode out of my chest.
Let us pray that my 7 day training program (that I have yet to figure out) will suffice.
And finally, let us pray that if I do indeed die on this race that my head stone will read,
"See, I told you I was out of shape!"

But, if I don't die...I will get an awesome Saints & Sinners medal for running both the Wasatch and the Vegas Ragnar in the same year.
And that will be pretty cool.
:o)


That and I will live to see my 35th birthday.

Grant D-lish Birthday Bash.

"Photo shoot"
(and I use the term loosely considering my photography abilities and camera quality)
with the Birthday Boy went something like this...

Me: Grant, come out side with me, I want to take your picture.
Grant: I'm playing with my train tracks.
Me: Pleeaaasssee.
Grant: Okay.

Me: Smile for me, Grant.
Grant: Okay.

And he gives me this.




Me: Grant, smile for me Buddy!
Grant: Okay.

And he gives me this.




Me: Okay, smile for me...
Grant: Okay.....I see you Mom!

And he gives me this.




Me: Hey, is it your birthday today?
Grant: YES!
Me: Show me your birthday smile.
Grant: Okay.

And he gives me this.
Fake smile phase, here we come.

What a goofball!
He is, how ever, just about the cutest goofball I've ever seen.
I do adore my little man.
He was a really good decision.

The Twenty Minute Parent.

Introducing the new twenty minute parenting tactic. Mike and I have finally figured out how to parent perfectly. Twenty minutes at a time. This works especially well on Sundays when neither one of us wants to pull out all the stops and do it like the parent rock stars that we really are.

How did this system come about, you ask? While waiting for the potatoes to cook for dinner after church I was completely disgusted by the state of my house. Nine o'clock church is a tough one on a good day, it's a killer on a day we are slow to get moving. Normally I don't leave my house a mess.

(I know I'm nuts, but the thought of coming home to find that someone has broken in and then needing to leave the crime scene as is while we wait for the cops then needing to explain to them that it was already a disaster is just horrifying to me. I know, I have some really weird issues. But, don't you all appreciate my honesty?)

So...in my efforts to assure a nap for myself (which I also don't do well with the house a mess) I asked Mike for some help in rounding up the troops for a clean up before dinner. He was none too excited. Just give me twenty minutes, I said. Twenty minutes of good, solid, helpful parenting.
Then, tonight for bed time stuff/scripture reading routine--that Sunday laziness struck again, we didn't want to spend the next hour trying to get it done. Once again we decided that in twenty minutes time --if we put our hearts in it--we could read, pray and have every one on their way to bed.

That's when we realized we really might be on to something.
We feel that giving it our all for just twenty minutes at a time may be the answer to all our parenting quandaries.
The twenty minute parenting tactic.
It's genius!
Twenty minutes to perfect parenting.
Just twenty minutes, that's all we ask.


*Yes, we are available for parenting counseling classes if anyone is interested. I'm sure they will be filling up fast so be sure to reserve your spot early.


Your welcome.
:o)

Dear Blog Fairy,

Remember how you so kindly gave my dear old blog a face lift a while back? And oh, how I love it! Well, BF (can I call you that? i feel a real connection and so close to you now--it's almost like we are neighbors) I am still just loving the new look. But, I do have a request.....I would like to make a small change. And unfortunately, I'm not savvy enough to pull it off on my lonesome. Help me?

The change.
I would like to rename my blog. 'The Farmgirl Life...' remains the same because, hello? that's what I'm living. The change comes after that. 'such as it is.' replaced with 'knee deep and lovin' it.' What do you think? Possibility?

Here's the thing. My life isn't such as it is--it's such as I make it.
Cuz, let's face it folks...it's a pretty durn good life.

First of all, I'm paired with Mikey. He's just not so bad in my book. Yah, I love him. I always tell him he's my favorite husband I have ever had (he follows that with a roll of the eyes and says he's the only husband i've ever had). Point well taken. But, he's still my favorite. We are a good match.

Yes, it's true my children do make me a little nuts from time to time. I have five of them--it was bound to happen. They bring me way more joy than insanity (I hope I'm not speaking prematurely here-I suppose I could still end up in the loony bin before the last curtain call).

The gospel. Yup, it's true. Learned a fair amount about from whence my strength flows recently too. I do my part -He does His. It's a pretty good system.

And I have all of you. My peeps.

It's a busy, crazy life. Things have changed a lot since we have been in business for ourselves. I have learned a lot. The most important thing I have learned is that being happy is a choice. No matter what else is going on, I get to choose. Isn't that fantastic!?!

Since I have the whole husband, five kids, dog, cat, day care, house keeper, business owner, church goer, neighbor, friend, sister thing going on--I'm knee deep whether I like it or not.

But, I'm lovin' it because I want to.

M.O.C.C

Mothers Of Challenging Children
That's my new support group.

When you are the mother of a challenging child, you already know it.
No one needs to tell you.
Here's the thing (and I think it's pretty true for any mother) whatever you have to tell them about their kid-good or bad- your not gonna shock 'em.
Mom's know their kids better than any one else.
All the good, fantastic qualities and the not so fantastic qualities.
So there is really no need to go out of your way to point out the negative.
Leave that up to the professionals.
I am already very aware, thanks all the same.

I'm doing my very best with what I was given.
I'll try and make my lemonade and you make yours.
And how about instead of pouring salt in the mix- some one could just lend me the sugar?

Is this too brutally honest?
Mom's have feelings too, ya know.

Let's all adopt Thumper's mothers mantra, shall we:
If you don't have anything nice to say,
don't say anything at all.
Good advice for children.

And adults too.



*Okay, I feel slightly better- just needed to vent a little. It's just that, doggone-it, I love my little twerp! I know they aren't perfect. Believe me, I KNOW. I love all the crazy stories people tell me about my kids, because they are crazy--crazy funny. And it's just those kinds of stories that make me think we are gonna get through all this. Encouragement. That's what I need. So, if you have something positive to say, by all means, bring it on. No need to relay to me a laundry list of negative things my child said. That is in no way helpful to me. In fact, it causes me to be up at 2:30 in the AM. And that is just sick and wrong.

And p.s. for the record---challenging children are chock full of spunk, life and personality.
This particular child is Ah-MaZ-iNg!!
I love them all! And I wouldn't trade in a one of them. :o)

This is Farmgirl signing off,
And I am
Lucky ~and happy~ to be the Mom.

An observation.

But first, the back story.
I went out of town for the weekend, had a quick little get away to Preston where my brother was blessing his new sweet baby girl. I hadn't planned on attending. Mike is super busy and I didn't want to drive up by myself with the kiddos. Robyn had a trip to her mothers planned (minus children) and I bummed a ride with her. I took Grant with me so that Mike would be able to get some work done while I was gone.
A good time was had by all.
On to my observation. It is this:

Coming home after leaving Mike and the kids in charge for the weekend is what I would imagine coming home to my house after I was part of something like Wife Swap would feel like.

The house is clean....sort of. The laundry is done....in a bizarre way. Things are put away.....in weird places. Other things are out....that shouldn't be. Things just aren't.....so.

While I do appreciate their efforts and it is so nice of them all to give it the old college try, it's still a little strange to come home to. That's all I've got to say about that.



*and p.s. leaving mike every once in a while is fantastic job security for me. he told me if anything ever happened to me he would need to just give the children away because he could not do what i do. (so i guess you all should start picking out your favorites-just to be prepared-you know, in case the worst should happen) yup, that's what happens when you are as amazing as me. ;o)

Lend me your ear....

Because I have a little bit of something to say.
You all know me, right?
I'm not old, right?
While I am done having children...I could have more, right?
If I so desired.
(which I don't--but that is not the point here)
I mean, my body isn't ready to shut down.
It's true, I am rounding the corner towards thirty five.
But,
Women still have babies at thirty five---even older than that, right?
Yes, it would be a geriatric pregnancy.
But a pregnancy all the same.
And a healthy one at that!

So....

WHY DID I GET THIS IN THE MAIL?
Phase II??

Are you joking me?

It says, and I quote:
"Whatever the condition, we take care of your body,
so you can fully enjoy 'the second phase' of your life."

Did I miss something?
I'm sorry, did I turn 70 and not notice?
Second phase? SECOND PHASE!?!?!

Now, when they say 'the second phase' of my life it leads me to believe they think there are only just the two.
Ex-squeeze me??
Am I half way done here?
ME THINKS NOT!!

And just in case you think it was some kind of mass mailer....
it wasn't.

Yup, that's right.
Addressed to little ole me.
Farmgirl.
(BTW, Does this mean I'm gonna have to change my name to Farmlady or something?)

Well, friends...
That's it.

I'm off to take some Centrum and play a little shuffle board before the kids get home from school and have to change my depends.



Catch you on the flip side!
Oh, wait--
apparently I'm already there.