Monday, August 31, 2009

Lend me your ear....

Because I have a little bit of something to say.
You all know me, right?
I'm not old, right?
While I am done having children...I could have more, right?
If I so desired.
(which I don't--but that is not the point here)
I mean, my body isn't ready to shut down.
It's true, I am rounding the corner towards thirty five.
Women still have babies at thirty five---even older than that, right?
Yes, it would be a geriatric pregnancy.
But a pregnancy all the same.
And a healthy one at that!


Phase II??

Are you joking me?

It says, and I quote:
"Whatever the condition, we take care of your body,
so you can fully enjoy 'the second phase' of your life."

Did I miss something?
I'm sorry, did I turn 70 and not notice?
Second phase? SECOND PHASE!?!?!

Now, when they say 'the second phase' of my life it leads me to believe they think there are only just the two.
Ex-squeeze me??
Am I half way done here?

And just in case you think it was some kind of mass mailer....
it wasn't.

Yup, that's right.
Addressed to little ole me.
(BTW, Does this mean I'm gonna have to change my name to Farmlady or something?)

Well, friends...
That's it.

I'm off to take some Centrum and play a little shuffle board before the kids get home from school and have to change my depends.

Catch you on the flip side!
Oh, wait--
apparently I'm already there.

Monday, August 24, 2009

The Birthday Unspoken.

I had given birth to a son 14 years ago today he might look something like this.

And he would probably be fantastic.
He would be a fabulous big brother.
He would adore his Dad.
He would be a huge help to me.
I imagine he would be a lot of fun to be around.
If only....

I am not nearly that old, there is no possible way I could have a son who is a mere 2 years away from a drivers license and 5 years away from a mission.
That's just crazy talk right there.

But...if I did...
He would probably look just like this right before
blowing out his candles on this very night.
Uh huh, the candles that were lit with the help of this...
(cuz that's the way we roll 'round here)

Yay, and I am pretty sure the only Denial of ever heard of is the one in Egypt.
Because I am dealing with everything very rationally.

Since I am unable to discuss the birthday of this so-called boy of mine
maybe we should talk about something else.
How 'bout another birthday?
Like, say, one of the very best of the besties.
This girl right here.
Yup, she's my Top Robyn and I just loves her.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Okay, so she might be my daughter after all....

Audrey's first week of school was fantastic.
She was happy.
Yesterday and today....not so much.
Yesterday we talked for a while, she brushed her bruised little preteen ego self off and went out the door to play.
Today we talked for a while, she wasn't so much up for talking.
After a few minutes she turned to me and said, "Can I just go make a treat?"

That is so, so....Me.

I can't count the number of pans of Blondies I made during my teenage years.
Honestly, probably nearing the thousands.
It's hard to wrap my brain around the amount of ingredients my mom so willingly let me use.
Now, of course I do love me some fresh from the oven goodness.
Who doesn't? But...
It was the whole baking process that I loved just as much as the consumption.
After a frustrating day with friends and school and everything else; knowing that two sticks of butter + two eggs + all the other ingredients = something I can count on to turn out right was a life saver. A control freak's dream come true.

Not much has changed.
I still love that.
I love knowing what I am doing, making the tried and true.
I love the memories that making the oldies but goodies conjures up.
I love the smell of fresh baked goodies in my house.
I love that treats (or any delicious eatables) make my family happy.
I love that I can change not just my own mood, but others too.
I love taking care of my brood.
I love that sometimes an audible sigh escapes my lips just from putting my apron over my head.

Okay, it's true...I am a little crazy. At least that's what I am thinking writing all this. I guess the bottom line here is a confession that my house, and the kitchen in particular, is all the therapy I think I will ever need. And I suppose if my girlie follows in my foot steps that wouldn't be such a bad thing either.

The key, I've learned is a big family. I came from a big family and I have a ~sorta~ big family. You really have to keep the numbers up so you don't end up eating completely everything all by your lonesome.

Or, in Audrey's case, having your mother eat it all.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Correction. Again.

For the Love!!
So, believe it or not we are changing the fugitive game.
I am sorely regretting the day I announced this little shin dig on my blog.
This time it's Mark that will be out of town.
How could we party without Mark?
Considering the fact that it is his house and he is a barrel-O-fun, it is completely inconceivable.
Therefore, we be switching it up.
Saturday night. 8:30. The Weston's.
I surely am hoping a few of you adventurous souls will still join us.

*If we need to change it again, I will be far too embarrassed to post it here.
Instead, I will be standing in the Weston's drive way handing out cinnamon rolls and cookies.
Buying friendship and forgiveness.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Is it just me?

Or is the sky a little bluer today, the grass a little greener, are the birds singing in your neighborhood? Is it not just a fan-freakin'-tastic day??

I'm walking on sunshine. Oooo-oooo. I'm walking on sunshine. Oooo-oooo. And it's startin' to feel good!!

I love the first day of school!!
The kids were all excited to go---their excitement doesn't hold a candle to my own---but, I am so happy they were all happy to be off and away.

Let's have a little run down of what I've accomplished so far. Oh, and I am far from done. Far from it.
  • Cleaned the kitchen (i know, i do that every day. i'm still counting it)
  • Swept and mopped
  • Cleaned the kids bathroom
  • Cleaned my bathroom
  • Wiped down all the doors, door knobs, and door jams
  • Reorgan-sized and refolded everything in the linen closet (a summer of fort making takes a toll)
  • Cleaned and organ-sized Audrey's room
  • Cleaned and organ-sized the girls room
  • Wiped down all the shelves in the pantry
  • Been thoroughly entertained by Grant
  • Enjoyed a delish grilled cheese and fresh from the garden tomato sandwich
I am a cleaning machine to be reckoned with. I am woman here me roar! Nothing makes me happier than cleaning. Weird, but true. Cleaning uninterrupted and not having everything undone with in moments is pure heaven in my book. That and fresh from the oven ooey gooey chocolatey goodness, in almost any form. Those two things. Just love 'em.

Lest I sound like a mother who doesn't adore the fruit of her loins....let me say, in my defense, this has not been a normal summer. Life has not been 'normal' for a while around here. I'm gonna be honest here and say that it is a sometimes daily battle just to keep on keepin' on with a smile. Well, I'm smiling today!

I do adore my little peeps. I even got choked up saying good bye to them this morning. Don't forget we had a lot of changes this year--I sent Adam to middle school, Audrey to intermediate school and Elsie to first grade this year. That's a big deal. And it was kinda hard to walk away from my sweet little Elsie-girl.

I did get over it pretty quickly though.

Oh, and p.s. how happy am I that I still have Grant D-lish with me. I am WAY too young to have All the kiddos in school.

They're happy.
I'm happy.
Let's just say it like it is.
School is a win/win situation for every one involved.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009


Stop the presses!
I know you all are planning you whole life around the parents back to school party.
I've got some news....
Please do not freak out.
It has not been canceled.
It has been postponed.
The hostess with the mostest, our lovely Sarah is a no-can-do this Friday.
Soooo, we are going to do it next Friday, August 21st, at 8:30 pm. at the Weston's.

Be there or be...well, or don't be there.

If nothing else it should be entertaining.
And by entertaining I mean hilarious watching a slew of adults running around the neighborhood playing a game that was clearly designed for teenagers.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

T minus Three.

That's right friends, only three more fun filled days of summer left.
Not that I'm counting or anything.
Just thought I'd throw that little tidbit of information out there.
I mean, I'm sure there are mothers out there who are excited about it.
~Not me.~
You certainly wouldn't catch me smiling to myself randomly these days.
I'm definitely not planning a cleaning extravaganza beginning Thursday morning.
There is no way we are having an adult back to school party Friday night.
(it's surely not an adult fugitive game starting at the Weston's at 9:00 with an open invite to all.)
In fact, I get teary eyed just thinking about the thoughts of school starting.
Yeah, there are probably mothers out there who just love the idea of things like
structure and routine.
CrAzY Ladies.
I live for chaos!
Why else would I have had 5 children?

Okay, it might be because when Mike and I reproduce we create these things.
Can I help it if they are the most fantastic 5 children the universe has to offer?
Not really.
...And because every once in a while we all head out to the backyard and have a grand ole time together.

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Peeks last week...need this for noncommentors. Lame. commenting is cool.