How do you like my new do?

So....what do you think of my little face lift??
I finally got the new name of my dear old blog actually on the blog.
"knee deep and loving it"
Pretty sweet, eh?

And I did it almost by myself.
Mike gave me a quick tutorial and then coached me from the couch.
That's practically doing it alone, right?
My technical abilities amaze me.

I know your jealous.
We all have our own special gifts.
Some of us were just blessed with these crazy computer-esk wired brains,
like me.

on a totally unrelated ironing side note:
When the tension rod that your husband
purchased and installed in the
laundry room, to hold the
masses of clothes that are waiting
to be ironed,
due to the extreme amount of weight it is
supporting,
collapses...
is that a sign
that you should, indeed,
iron???

Judge Not.

Me: "Hi, my name is Farmgirl, and I am a control freak."
You: "Hi, Farmgirl."

Okay, now that we have that out of the way, let's talk.

I kind of like things to go the way I plan them. Especially when it comes to anything pertaining to my domain. Just to be clear- my domain is the house, cooking, cleaning, and the chitlens. There are other sub-domain things, but those are the biggies. Now, I have learned a thing or two over the years, as the kiddos have gotten older--I have less control than I think. A lot less, in fact. But that's not what we are here to talk about.

We are hear to talk about the youngsters. I am nothing if not disciplined in the feeding, bathing, napping, bedtiming, snacking, whatever elsing of my tots. Control Freak, remember? I am the nap lady. I love nap time ( let's be honest-I've never complained about a nap for myself on occasion). Adam came home from his first day of afternoon kindergarten and asked if he should take his nap. That's good training there, Folks. You don't get that kind of response without having nap lady for a mom. All my littles napped at least until they were four. Sure, the quality and length may have changed, but nap we did. I had friends say, "How do you get them to nap? Mine don't nap any more. If they ever do, they just fall asleep in front of the TV." In front of the TV??? I would think to myself, are you crazy?? In front of the TV? That's ridiculous.

I was so smug.

Well, not any more, the time has come...I am defeated. The nap time control freak has lost. Grant is victorious. There are no more scheduled naps for him. *sigh* I know, he is almost three and a half, but let's not forget the hour this boy arises....it's freakin' early! He NEEDS a nap. I NEED him to have a nap. Maybe not every day, but the boy has to make up some zzzz's some where.

As I said, I lost the nap battle. No more naps for him. He just has a "rest" now. A rest is not, I repeat, not a nap--just ask Grant. Clearly, he is way too old for a nap. And where, you ask does he do this "resting".....???



Yup, you guessed it. Right smack dab in front of the old boob tube.
Judge not. Lesson learned.
After 5 kids and 14 1/2 years of child rearing I am just grateful for some down time--I'll take what ever I can get.

Ironing

How do I hate thee?
Let me count the ways...

* You are time consuming
* You bring me no joy
* Unlike your counter parts (cleaning, housework) you do not complete me
* Your massive piles bring much guilt into my life
* If ever during the day I come to a spot where I feel I might actually be caught up on my work,
there you are,
looming in the laundry room
* I do not have the patience to care how you turn out
* If it weren't for you, I could assume I married my soul mate--
the man I am married to actually appreciates a nicely pressed shirt
unfortunately, for him,
I am not the kind of wife who delivers this precious gift all that often
* Let's just say it like it is, I don't see you and I ever becoming friends
it's just not in the cards for us

In conclusion I would like to say,
You're Lame.

I would also like to start a Non Ironers United movement.
Who's with me?

An observation. By Elsie.

Tis the season for some Valentine-ing, you know.
If I was a super duper on the ball kind of a mother we would have accomplished this before this morning. Frankly, I didn't even see my elementary school girlies yesterday after I sent them on their merry way to school. It was a crazy, crazy day/afternoon/night for me.
Which leads us to the reason we are doing Valentine's this lovely morning.
I woke them up a tad early to give us some extra time.
My morning has some division. I like to call it Wave One and Wave Two. Sometimes, when I'm lucky, the little girls sleep until the big kids have already left for school, thus missing Wave One.
Anyhoo, those two lady's were knee deep in Wave One this morning because I told them they had to get dressed and have breakfast before we did Valentine's.
Wave One really resembles more of a hurricane than a gentle wave upon the sand.
In the midst of dishing up pancakes to the girls, which was also in the midst of listening the the two older children in a screaming match, which is also an integral part of Wave One; Elsie made an observation:

"We are NO Valentine family."

Thank you for pointing that out, Dear.
I hadn't noticed.

I guess we will have to work on that.

My Birthday?

Not gonna lie...

I'm gonna give it to ya straight, People.
I was feeling a little like this...

Kinda scared and a little disturbed.

Not so sure I was feeling all that ready to be the big
3-5
Thirty five?
I mean, come on!
Thirty five used be old.
Back in the day, when I was footloose and fancy-free.

Well, my friends, the big 3-5 came.
And I'm here to tell you,
it's none too shabby.

You know, we'll see how the whole year plays out and all...
but the first day?
Not bad.

Because, seriously.
When you start the day with Bear Paw,
(where they serve the best hot chocolate. ever.)

and end it with chocolate cake...
(cake and decorating job compliments of my little chef, Audrey)
how wrong can you go??



And thanks to Mike I finally have my true feelings in writing.
What are the chances any one will listen?

Sooo, am I good to just say,
"Oh, I'm sorry? Is this a fight I'm hearing??
Yes, well, you will need to refer to the sign."
And then they will either

Be nice
or
GET OUT!

How awesome would that be??
Let's all hope and dream for the little birthday sign
to create a little birthday miracle.
And, just in case you are wondering...
I strategically hung it so that it is indeed pointing to the front door.

Hey, you don't get to be thirty five without learning a thing or two along the way.

Small Vent.

When I called Mike last night (we were tag team parenting and only had about a 5 minute over lap) and asked him what he wanted me to get done before I headed off to the temple with my sweet neighbor, he said that what ever I could was good, my translation--basically,
"No worries, I got this."

What he should have answered was,
"What ever you want done, you should do."
Meaning--
if you want homework, reading, math facts, bathing, picking up rooms, putting away shoes, taking care of clothes, even changing into pajamas, anything of the like accomplished before bed,
--your gonna want to do that before you walk out the door.

Now, we all know I love my dear sweet husband a whole, whole bunch. And that he is absolutely amazing. He is a talented, loving, hard working, wonderful man.

Having said all that...I would like to note:
He is NO mother.

I still appreciate him holding down the fort whilst I was gone. And knowing that he will actually take the 'He is NO mother' remark as some what of a compliment makes me feel a little better rattling off complaints.

On the bright side, the kids got a night off of me nagging them to get all their junk done, Lucy made a very cute Valentine treasure hunt for Elsie (we are focusing on the fact that it was very cute and sweet and not on the fact that there were paper foot prints taped ALL over the floor), and they all got to finish off a pan brownies.
Good stuff.
Ya, he is way more fun than me.

Does it seem strange to any one else...

that our Family Home Evening

ended with a group trip to the toitee?


Should it discourage me that we need to have lessons on flushing?
That Mike, being a plumber's son, actually took apart the toilet to explain to the young ones exactly how the throne works--hoping that it will make some sort of lasting impression?
Is that weird??

Mike and I are fairly normal, intelligent people.
Right?

When did this happen....???
How did we get here....???

We start out the evening with a lesson on being reverent,
feeling the spirit, showing love....followed by......
flushing the toilet?

It just seems wrong.
On so many levels.

And, yet, this is not the first time we have been over this.

Sadly, I'm pretty sure it won't be the last.

And, as you can plainly see from my photo documentation, it was very well received.

I'd like to take a moment here
to put in a plug once again
for the awesome parenting book
Mike and I are working on.
I think we will be calling this chapter
"Basics in being a Normal Member of Society".