When a girl feels like this....

There's nothing can be done.
Except this....

Audrey's Adventure's

Welcome aboard the blogging train, cute girl.

This little gem will be a private showing only.

All are invited- minus the crazies.

So leave me a comment with your email and let's head on over and enjoy

what promises to be one of the most entertaining blogs on the block.

Might I give a quick shout out to the best blogging elf ever...

Dear Blogging Elf,

You made my daughters Chirstmas dreams come true.

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You.

Good News....

I'm not dead.

Just busy.
Like everyone else on the planet.
Tomorrow is ear marked as my day to-

STAY HOME!

Stay home and be with my kidlets.
And possible practice a little slave driving and bribery.
Hey, can I help it if the Jolly Old Guy promotes doing chores and having a clean house?
Hardly.

SYTYCD critiques from a six year old.

Alright, so when the conversation first started with Elsie I thought it would be a funny status on face book. Not so much when she just kept cracking me up....

~Kathryn dances~
Elsie: "Mom, is that dress immodest?"
Me: (answering in my usual sytycd is on way, and by that i mean basically ignoring my children) "Ya, I guess."
Elsie: "So, would you be arrested if I wore that?"
Me: (doing a double take now) "Would I be arrested?"
Elsie: "Ya, you. For me wearing that?"
Me: "No, Weirdo."

~Elanor dances that techno dance~
Elsie: "Well, that's a strange dress. And a weird dance."

~Elanor dances the passadoble'~
Elsie: "Well, your too old to dance that one Mom."
Me: "Too old?"
Elsie: "Ya, and I don't think you are skinny enough to wear that dress any way."
Me: "Gee, thanks." (i'm a little discouraged now cuz i was planning on running out and getting that dress tomorrow. bummer.)
Elsie: (putting her hands on my waste) "Well...is that girl skinnier than you??"

~Ashliegh dances with Jakob~
Elsie: "Ohhhh, that's a pretty dress. Would you let me wear that to play in the back yard?"
Me: (in my brain) "Sure, because we often wear ball gowns to play in the back yard."

So, just in case you aren't already a huge fan of So You Think You Can Dance, you should watch it with Elsie because she makes it all that much better.

Let's just keep the fact that she was watching it with me so that we could mute it during the commercials so that she could read to me in order to get her reading done, between you and me. Mmmkay? Thanksomuch.
What? Don't judge. I was on single parent duty tonight. And minus one oldest child.

*p.s. note to self: a dvr/tivo whatever it is thing would most likely improve parenting skills. possibly only marginally.

Installment Three: The Big Event.

This is it friends. The end of the exciting on going saga of my super adventurous trip.
I'll give you a moment to try to pull your selves together....
Are you all okay now? Good.
Let's get on with it then, shall we?

First of all, you should know that Amanda is weird. No one brings out the weird in me like Amanda does. In fact, when our brother agreed to run the Wasatch Back with us next year his exact words were, "I'll do it only if you two won't be weird." Ya, right, good luck with that.
....Any hoo, here's Amanda 'observing' Molly beating her mint center.

Just because I love you all and clearly I have no shame, here is a picture of me beating a center for my mom. Please, don't judge my obvious pudginess. I already told you my mom is a fantastic cook. And it was chocolate week. And I am wearing bare minimum 6 layers of clothing. What? Idaho is cold. I know my beauty is amazing. Try not to hate me, look past your jealousy and love me for what's on the inside. :) Which, at the moment, is a lot of wintery-good comfort stuff.

Here's Molly pouring out a center. I suppose that I have done this in kind of a backward order...oh well, you'll just have to deal. Please ignore the fact that Molly looks so pulled together and presentable. Let's pretend like everyone there looked like me....a little scary.

This is my sister in law, Very Pregnant Natalie, dipping. Very Pregnant Natalie did not want me to take too many pictures of her. Might I toss in this little tidbit? I could NOT be happier with my brothers spouse choices. They all married VERY well. Nice job, Boys. It was so fun to spend time with all my sisters in law as well.

And finally here is a sampling of some of the deliciousness that were created that magical week.
All told, we figured that with all of us (Me, my mom, sisters and sister in laws) we dipped:
-over 70 pounds of chocolate
-well over 2000 pieces of candy
-weighing in at at least 160 pounds

Now, THAT is a LOT of chocolatey goodness.

Your welcome, World. We do what we can.
Some people strive for world peace,
Others just try to make the world a little bit sweeter place to be.
:o)

Installment Numero Dos.

And here we have Idaho,

So, I went to my parents house for the candy extravaganza.
I love it there.
No, seriously, I LoVe being there.
If ever I have some sort of terminal illness and I need some solace and peace,
take me there.

Plus, my mom is a fantastic cook.
I eat a lot of food at her house.
And I do mean
A LOT.


Got Milk?
They sure do.
Aren't cows great?

Those little dots out there that you can't really make out because-I-was-too-cold-and-too-lazy-to-walk-out-into-the-field-to-get-a-better-picture-of-Ya, those are sheep.
Every winter the sheep come to town.
Well, okay, not town exactly, but they do come to the fields.
I love it when the sheep are there.
They come and stay on the land for a little while and graze in the fields.

Wanna know a little secret?
I think being a sheep herder would an okay job.
I mean, if I didn't have this whole Mom/Wife thing going.
You could live in that cozy little trailer,
read to your hearts content,
enjoy a lovely cup of hot choco curled up with a book,
have a couple of fantastic dogs to keep you company,
travel all over,
walk every day through the sheep
and enjoy the fresh air.
It doesn't sound so bad.
Solitude sure seems like it would be a beautiful thing.
I wouldn't know,
I haven't had any in over fourteen years.
Not complaining, just saying...

Alright, tis the season to be busy so that's it for this installment
of Farmgirl's Idaho Winter Adventure.

Survival at theThe Homestead.

I am realizing I may need to cover all this stuff in blog post installments.
We're all good with that, right?
So, here we go...

Installment #1: Survival at the Homestead.

Dear old Mikey was kind enough to cover for me for an entire week so I could go to Idaho and candy make my brains out. He is pretty much my favorite husband. Ya, I know, I only have the one--still, my favorite.

The plan was for me to leave on a Saturday and return the next Saturday. One whole week. I did take Grant with me, that still left him with four hoodlums to deal with.

The night before I left Mike called a meeting with the kids to "plan" out the week. I over heard it from the kitchen....it went something like this:
Okay guys, Mom is leaving in the morning and we all need to pitch in and do extra jobs besides your weekly chores in order to get through the week. Now there are jobs that only Mom does, so we are going to need to divide those up. I have a list here of the five things that just Mom does...

Hold the phone!!
Ex-squeeze me?
Just five?
Just the five things that I do...???
Hummm, it seems like I do more than five things.
Guess not.
That's what's so handy about being Mom, I just do the five things a day and I'm golden.
Sweet.
This comment cracked me up, I know he came up with just the 'five things'
that they needed to do daily in order to survive.
Five was the magic number because there were five of them left here at home.
....Any hoo....

....on goes the meeting of the minds and they divide up my 'five jobs' and plan out their week. I came home to a relatively clean house, children that were still alive, and a husband that didn't abandon ship in my absence.

They did awesome. Just a couple of things that need to be shared with the public at large:
1) The phone call from Mike on Monday night. "I'll be really glad when your back. (Me thinking: Uh...Honey, it's just Monday. You do realize I'm not coming back until Saturday, right?) I'm not used to thinking about the kids at all during the day. I didn't realize how much I really don't worry about them, I leave that all up to you I guess." I love him.
2) Mike telling me last night that he had decided before hand that the best way to get through the week was to pretend like it wasn't ever going to end. Pretend like he was a single dad forever. He has assured me, he does not want to ever be a single dad. And since I have told him that if he ever left me he would get the children, I think I have him right where I want him. Mwahhaahaahaa.
3)My discovery that the microwave did not fall under one of the 'five things Mom does' list. Well, there's six. We're up to six things Mom does.

Believe me when I tell you this picture in no way, shape, or form does justice to the disgusting mess that was, in fact, my microwave.
(Yes, Anne, your lasagna lived on in the micro...until my return)
When Grant saw it he said, "Look Mom! The microwave has the chicken pox!"
He even tried to show the kids the chicken pox microwave when they got home from school.
Fortunately, I had already discovered the cure.
He was marginally disappointed.

So much to post, So much to recover from....

Seriously, tomorrow may be the day I feel like I am actually the

Queen of the Castle once again.
Which means I can finally find the time I want to catch you all up on the
many ramblings rattling around in my head.
Trust me, there are many.
I know you all wait with baited breathe,
don't try to hide it.
First and fore most, this is what you need to know....
Chocolate G-O-O-O-O-O-D

If ever you need a little pick me up,
spend a week up to your elbows in
Chocolate.
That's good stuff right there, I tell ya, good stuff.

Hang tight my peeps.
Full report coming up.