Will we ever imerge from

Lock down??

This is a question that has plagued me for years. And I am seriously beginning to think I may never return from the land of lock down.

Let me just give you a run down of a few of the items that are in lock down around here:
-Food. We have locks on the fridge and the pantry. The reason for these locks are two fold. First, we have a two year old -nuff said. Secondly, my older children will literally eat every snackish morsel they can get their hands on in mind boggling record breaking time. Trust me--I do feed them...a lot!
-Office Supplies. We lock down spare notebooks, spare scissors, spare pens, spare pencils, spare post it notes, spare glue sticks, spare colored pencils, spare crayons--you name it, it's under lock and key. I like to stock pile all of these things when they are on sale, crazy how quickly they disappear if left available to the masses.
-My room. Grant has a serious fetish with my make up right now. He also really enjoys a good roll of toilet paper, but it's mostly the make up thing that's the problem. I also have issues with a few other items that seem to go missing a lot-such as my tweezers. Why? I don't know.
-Audrey's room. Grant has discovered that she always has some sort of candy-stash some where in there and if you dig through enough stuff, you are bound to find it.
-The computer. These little stinks are like vultures when it comes to the computer. If it is left unlocked for a moment they are all clambering to get at it.
-Grant. He climbed out of his cage- eerr, I mean crib- the other day. What am I going to do without this option? His sleep is a very valuable commodity to me.

I am quite literally the gate keeper. And today two of my children are in solitary confinement--it never seems to end.*

Some day they will be grown and gone and I will miss all my little chick-a-dee's dearly, but I can assure you I will not miss the lock down days. Sure, I may look back on this and laugh. Frankly, it's laughable right now--that's just it--it is totally ridiculous!! The day will come, my friends, when I no longer carry multiple keys in my pocket on a daily basis and that will be a joyful day for Farmgirl.

*side note: The teenager was told this morning he would be spending the day in his room and that I would be bringing him his meals. After we left him he got his sister to deliver a message: Ask Mom if she is going to keep her promise and bring me breakfast in bed? What a Punk!*

Define: worst.

Conversation over heard at breakfast....


Lucy: Audrey, I had the worst day of my life yesterday! First, I was--

Audrey: Goose, it couldn't have been the worst day of your life. The worst day of your life would be when your grown up and have kids and your kids die. That would be the worst day of your life.

Lucy: Oh. Yeah. Okay. Okay, then the worst day of my school life. First, I was--

Audrey: No, Lucy. You didn't have the worst day of your school life either. The worst day of your school life would be if someone pants-ed you in front of the whole school. Now, that would be a bad day.

Lucy: Yeah, I guess it would.


So, for anyone having a bad day maybe you just need a little perspective brought to you by the likes of Audrey.
Look out Dear Abby, there's a new girl in town.

Has Anyone Seen Superman?

Noooo???

That is because he is living with me.
Sleeping in my bed. Eating big bowls Cream of Wheat--along with any other soft food he can get his hands on. Drinking lots of apple juice in my kitchen. Using my bathroom as his phone booth. Leaping over the children in a single bound.

It's a bird, it's a plane, it's
Super Mike!!

I am more than pleased to report that Mike's tonsillectomy went smoothly and his recovery has been surprisingly un-horrific.
(horrific is pretty much what I was expecting and bracing myself for)
I know, I know any of you experienced de-tonsiled people are saying, Oh Farmgirl...don't get too comfortable, you are only on day four and the worst is possibly--okay, okay
--probably--
yet to come, but so far so good! Hey, I'll take what ever I can get.
Gotta keep the positive juices flowing, right troops?!?

Our Lives: Under Construction

This sign has been hanging on Mike's door at his office for a long time.

(10+ years with Arnell-West)

It used to represent this...

(Southern Utah)
weird how they can't get a bid or keep a commercial construction company office open when there's only a measly 53 or so bidders per job. strange, real strange.

It now represents this....

(a desk we bought in college at the bid sale for a whopping $10)

Which is located here....

(Our front room)

Just a mere 15 feet from here....

(Mom's Domain)

Like this....see?




All so that we can make a go of this....
(Mike's new business venture + a few other irons in the fire)



We are excited about it! Hitting it hard, Baby! Already have some great leads and made our first dollar--suitable for framing.

Only for the next four short days. Then


Mi Amor will be spending a whole lot of time here....




Because of these....

(or more accurately, the lack there of)

Recovering without the help of any of these....

(namely the little gem we refer to as {insert Homer Simpson impersonation} 'LorrTabb'
-pesky opium drug addictions!)

Now, don't you all feel real sorry for her?....

(pity party invites pending)

My life as I knew it is definitely--Da Da Dun--under construction.
Good thing for me happiness is a choice.
Oh, and the fact that blogs are therapeutic.

Shaken.

I am not one for dramatics. I don't consider myself all too dramatic and I try to down play the drama from my kids. When I got a phone call this morning from the principal reporting that Audrey said some one had followed her to school, talked to her and grabbed the handle bar of her bike I won't lie--I thought, did this really happen? Have they recently been discussing stranger danger at school and she is embellishing a story? She is, after all, the most dramatic of all my children.

I went over to the school to talk to her and get to the bottom of the story. I didn't run into the school all teary eyed and on the verge of a freak out (me and hysterics rarely meet)---I was on a mission to get to the truth and get back home to my busy day. After a few minutes of questioning I had decided we needed to report it, but I was still fairly skeptical. Just then another student came and confirmed her story--said he saw it happen. He said this same car had followed him and a friend the other day. The car descriptions were essentially the same--still kids can really exaggerate these things sometimes, right? Then he said he and his friend noticed the license plate had double letters. A game they call Oreo. Audrey said she wrote down the plate number. She went to her classroom to get her notebook out of her backpack. She came back and showed us what she had written. It was a double letter license.

My heart sank.
She was telling the truth.
It just makes me sick.

She did do the right thing. She got out of the situation. She wrote down the license number--Smart girl, Smart, Smart Girl!! We dealt with it, called the resource officer and did everything that needed to be done.

I think I am just a little shell shocked from what could have been. My dear old Audrey does give me a run for my money....But what would I do without her?
I never want to know.

I am one proud and happy Mama today. My girl didn't curl up and consent. She balled up a fist and hit for all she was worth. My girl didn't blank out on what to do next. She wrote down the license plate number and description. (Thank you cousin sleuth kit!)
That's my girl!!
Yeah, she's a keeper.

Dr. Seuss Days

I'm pretty sure I have established the fact that I am not the type of mother who makes her job any harder than it has to be. I don't get overly involved in craft projects, I don't like going the extra mile on school projects, I don't sit up nights dreaming how to dress my kids for spirit week at school. That's not to say I don't support all that stuff--I just don't feel the need to do it myself. Luckily, I have some self-starters for children who, despite my lameness, still like to participate in all that craziness.

It's Dr. Seuss week. It started with wear green day -okay, not so bad. I can get on board with that one. Then came wear red and white day -again, totally do-able. Next was crazy sock and hat day(not the ideal day to also be picture day--but, whatever). Today was dress up like your favorite book character day. My kids interpret that into your favorite Dr. Seuss character.

Correct me if I'm wrong, that sounds like an awful lot of work for me. Most days I'm doing good to just get them all in clean school clothes, hair combed, teeth brushed and out the door with a smile on their face without some sort of major melt down occurring. Let's just toss in the fact that today is Thursday. Thursday is early morning choir. The girls leave just after 7:30.

Being the understated-involvement, yet supportive mom that I am, I did not draw any attention to the book character event. BUT, when Lucy came to me with this diagram last night for her hair in order to be Cindy Lou Who I jumped right on board. Really, no one around here can resist Lucy. She is just so darn lovable, FUN-ee, a little on the crazy side and the nicest girl around.
We used one cup instead of three. She decided Cindy Lou didn't have the same ear issues we were dealing with. We opted for the one cup on top and pig tails on the side route.


Here's the finished product. She was thrilled with it and we all got a good laugh. That was about as far as she got with her costume, though, so apparently she is a wee bit my daughter after all.

This is another picture she drew last night. The arrows say "Lucy" and the caption reads, "Say I am beautiful or Die. Say it NOW!!! I'm get'in mad!" Evidently our little Cindy Lou-Lucy has a few issues she is working on.
See?
Little bit crazy, right?
But, oh so funny to me. Very few people know how incredibly witty Goose is.

Tomorrow is pajama day. Gee, I can hardly wait. I suppose that does remove the *put children in clean school clothes* step of the morning routine, so that's a good thing. ~

Question...

Exactly what level of exhaustion have I reached when I read "Five little Monkeys" to one of the kids for a bed time story to myself....as in, silently---in my head? And don't realize I'm not reading aloud until I turn the first page and they say, "Hey, Mom! What are you doing?!?"

One 'Plain Girl' Comin' Up

Yet another messed up school week starts today. Short days all week and no school for the kindergartners Monday or Tuesday.
Are you asking yourself the same question I am...
exactly when do these kids just
GO TO SCHOOL??

I don't think Elsie realized that she didn't have school when I sent her in to get dressed this morning. She asked me what she should wear (weather wise) and I told her it was rainy---again!---but I didn't care what she wore.

This is what she came out in and announced to me that she was ready for the day and didn't want me to do anything with her hair because she wanted to look like a 'plain girl' today. Ex-squeeze me? Did you say 'plain girl'? I don't believe I am familiar with that term. What is a 'plain girl'?

Apparently the 'plain girl' wears boots, striped leggings, a leopard print skirt, a floral shirt and hair a' la 10 hours nestled in a pillow. Punky Brewster's got nothing on this fashion trend that Elsie is starting. It'll be all the rage real soon, I'm sure.
Hats off to me, she is still sporting her new look + bed head 'plain girl' hair-do. She did put a purple clip in the back of her hair so I guess I should give her some credit, right?
I am slightly curious as to what the 'crazily clad girl' might look like.
Maybe I should make a request for tomorrow...


And this little man...
is finally back to his normal crazy, busy, funny self after about five days of being a whiny, bawling, demanding, ornery little stink. He is exhausting either way, but I much prefer the cute mister I am accustomed to.

Parenting Update.

Just thought I'd give a quick update as to the whole big, new, exciting implementing of previously discussed parenting tactics. The update is this--I pretty much stink at implementing big, new, exciting parenting tactics. About the only thing that has changed is my new found awareness of behavior that apparently I could possibly change if I were so inclined as to actually use the tools I have acquired.

I am still hoping to read the book with Mike and get him on board--it takes two to tango, right? Or parent as the case may be. I am, however, maintaining high expectations. I guess one could say I'm in the observatory state right now- just collecting all the data before I take the plunge in a new direction....yeah, yeah, that's right, that's what I'm doing-observing-and ~wow~ I'm pretty durn good at it.

In the meantime I will continue to listen the the huffing and puffing and fighting that one day may tear my house down. Good thing (for the most part) I'm a mellow mama.

Because I care...

I thought I would share some new found information that I acquired yesterday. First off, let me say that I consider myself a pretty decent parent. I have been blessed with some fab-o kids (even if I do say so myself) and I think my kid-raising skills aren't too shabby.

We have entered the realm of teenage-hood and, frankly, I worry about my kiddos. I have five of them, you know, and they are all going to go through this. The thing is, I remember being a teenager all too well and it-- well--it stinks!! I feel like I've got a handle on the toddler/little kid stuff. We still have our moments, but the little ones are just so sweet and so innocent it's hard to get all that bent out of shape with them. This, of course, is spoken by a cowgirl who has seen over thirteen years of rodeos. Perspective is Priceless. And I have no doubt it will continue to be so.

The thing that is getting me is I have one child who has had the mentality of a teenager most of her life and a teenager who is just now developing the teenager mentality. And it's not going to be stopping any time soon. Remember? Five children, here.

One of my sisters was visiting a few weeks ago and we were discussing the ups and downs the rocky roads the ins and outs of parenthood. She told me about a book she had come across that was really helpful to her. I took a mental note, but seeings how my mental note taking isn't what it used to be- that's about as far as I got with it. She then sent it in the mail to me, so thoughtful of her. I picked it up, looked it over, read a wee bit then put it down for a few weeks and didn't think much more about it. I ran across it again yesterday and read the whole thing. It was great.

The only other parenting helps I have ever payed any attention to are the Love and Logic stuff -which isn't bad, I think I was just ready for something new. This was a breath of fresh air to me. It really hit home. I hesitate to actually share the name because it seems just too...cheesey to be helpful. I asked Mike to read it and when I told him it was called 'Parenting With Love' by Glenn Latham he rolled his eyes. You see, here at chaos central we tend to add a little sarcasm to the mix and a book called 'Parenting with Love' is just asking to be crucified.

The principles and ideas he brings to the table are so insightful, too many to list here. I also found that the ideas would apply across the board -work for a three year old as well as a thirteen year old. I, for one, am excited about trying some of this stuff out.

Anywho, I wanted to share it with any one who might be looking for a new twist to the same old problems.
And -so help me- if all of you already know about this and neglected to share it with me I'm gonna be a little irritated.