Friday, January 30, 2009

Look Ma! No tonsils.

Audrey went under the knife four days ago. The following is an account of the big event.
At dinne
r on Monday night I reminded her again, seriously, about how important it was that she didn't eat. She told me she understood. "I mean a little thing like getting your tonsils out could turn into a major event in some one's life, all sorts of things could go wrong..." I cut her off and told her she would be fine.
Her line of thinking may have lead her to have some pretty crazy dreams that night. She said she had 5 different dreams. I only got the skinny on one because I didn't have the patience at 5:30 a.m. to go over the minutia of all of them. In her dream we went to the hospital, Dr. Chase did the surgery but nobody realized that he had a concussion. He messed something up and she
had to go on life support and had to be life flighted to Salt Lake. They couldn't help her there so then she went to D.C. and on and on shipped all over the country for over a year just looking for some one to help her. In the end she got to come home but she was a cripple. A cripple? Really? From a tonsillectomy? Poor girl, she was more than a little anxious.
She was very brave and even let them put her IV w
hile she was a wake. Of course she wanted me to photo document it:

She was completely loopy when she was waking up and almost immediately started using her own version of sign language. She was giving numbers for pain, thumbs up, thumbs down, and then started making shapes with her hands. I didn't understand so she started pointing to my purse, I was still clueless, she then pointed to a picture on the wall and then herself. She wanted a picture of herself. Got it.

Doesn't she look thrilled?
Pretty much the cutest part of the whole ordeal was Grant's reaction to having Audrey just laying on the couch. As a show of solidarity he got a blanket and pillow and cuddled up on the couch too. Awfully nice of him, although he didn't last long.

That's Lucy giving Audrey her robe she got for Christmas to borrow while she's feeling down and out. So sweet.
Just in case one invalid in the house wasn't enough, Elsie woke up with strep throat on Wednesday morning. I think we caught it about as early as possible- no new cases here. Don't worry, Grant showed the same courtesy to Elsie as he did to Audrey.

I think her exact thoughts are, "Would you please just get him off of my bed and out of my room...I feel miserable." And Grant is thinking, "What? This is real nice, right?"
Audrey is quite a trooper. Her biggest complaint? You guessed it--She's hungry. The kid doesn't have too many reserves so I sure hope she's back to solids soon or we won't be able to take her outside in a strong wind.
There you have it folks. Farmgirl's take on tonsillectomy round two. Lucy was round one about four years ago. Believe the professionals when they tell you the younger the better. They are not kidding. It's been much harder on a 10 year old. Live and Learn, right?

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Yes, Virginia, Blog-faries really do exsist.

Ode to Andrea

She is my neighbor who lives down the street
Also computer savvy and that's really neat.
She spiffed up my blog, she spiffed it up good-
now I'm cool, look'n just as I should.
Thanks, Andrea. I owe you a treat.
You, my dear friend, have made my blog life complete.

per your request...

a new header and a picture too. Hope you likey!
The Blog Fairy

Farmgirl needs Facelift

I've had this blog now for a while and I'm mighty sick of the way it looks. No other blogs look this lame. Well, except Mark who is a guy so who really cares what his looks like any way- we go there strictly for content.
Why am I still stuck with the standard issue 'pick one of five wall papers'? Weird that the cute-blog fairies have not come to visit yet. I'm still anxiously awaiting their arrival...
Something simple, just a lovely header fitting of farmgirl, nothing too crazy.
This is how I see it going down:
I get my morning chores done (whistling whilst I work)- kitchen's clean, laundry started, beds made, bathrooms wiped down, kids settled and go to the computer, check my blog and voila
Ohh happy day cuteness has found me!!
Is that too much to ask?
Me thinks not.
In the mean time I don't want any one telling me how easy it is.
Just do this, then that, then this- blah, blah, blah, yada, yada, yada.
I don't really care how it's done.
I just want it done.
Here's what I'm thinking...*some one* has a special day coming up and this would be a real nice gesture for her. That is IF the blog fairies are reading this.
A girl can dream, can't she?

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Little white lies.

You know as parents we all tell them. There's no need to deny it.

Kid: Hey Mom, where's my picture I drew 2 months ago on the back of the Sacrament meeting program? Didn't you save it??
Mom: Oh, gosh Honey...I don't know....I'll keep a look out for it. It's a great picture- what with only 30 others here on the fridge we wouldn't want to loose that one.
Kid: MOM!!! Is this my picture?? Here in the GARBAGE!!??!!
Mom: What?? How did THAT get in THERE?? Sorry, Sweetheart. I'll just put it right back up here.

We all do it. Mike told a doosey yesterday. I may have helped him embellish it a bit...

Here's the story:
Audrey is getting her tonsils out on Tuesday. This is a huge event in her life. She has needed it done for a long time and we are finally getting to it. I have often said that Audrey is an adult trapped in a child's body, and I stand by that statement. When we went to the consultation appointment they gave us a list of medications she couldn't take. Ibuprofen being one of them. The next day Audrey came to me and with a hand on her fore head told me she had a
splitting headache, but what with her upcoming surgery and all she just knew she couldn't be taking any Ibuprofen. Oh, the things she suffers!
I received further instruction the other day that she couldn't eat any thing for 12 hours before surgery. Her surgery will be in the morning so one might think- no brainer, just don't eat breakfast- that is in fact the direction from the pre-admit nurse.
Here's the issue ~ Audrey is an eater. The girl is rail thin, but she really does put the food away. Not only is she an eater, she is a night eater. She has gotten up during the night and eaten since the time she was out of a crib and physically able to do so. Apparently she just needs a little some thing to get her through the night. In the last couple of months the fridge and pantry have been in lock down (from the two year old). The problem? Audrey has also been known to have a few reserves in her room; candy, left over sack lunches, stake and potatoes...
So, I'm telling Mike that I'm worried about her not eating during the night on Monday. I was saying we are really going to need to talk to her to make sure she doesn't eat during the night. Mike turned on his heel and went directly to Audrey and told her that she wasn't supposed to eat any thing, that her stomach had to be
completely empty, that when they put her to sleep everything in her body goes to sleep and if she eats anything she will poop all over the operating table and every one in the room will be grossed out and laugh and then they will all tell her about it when she wakes up. Being the awesome mother that I am I then told her that we would tell Adam and he would tell all of his friends.
Mike said it so convincingly that I had to ask him later if that is actually the truth. He said he had no idea but he didn't think we would need to worry about her sneaking any food during the night.
I think he might be right.
It would appear that we have adopted the "Horrify your child into Obedience" parenting tactic. I think between that and the Weston's "Kicking your child into Submission" method we pretty much have this parenting thing covered.
Maybe we could hold a seminar for any one who might be interested?

Friday, January 16, 2009

weiner / weaner

Just in case it was keeping any one up nights wondering what exactly is a "weiner" pig I thought I would clear it up. My super smart and obviously not-as-lazy-as-me sister did a little research and got to the bottom this mystery. What we were given for Christmas was a weaner pig. Meaning the pig has been weaned from it's mother. Not to be confused with a weiner pig, which- well, I don't even know what that is....I'll leave that up to you all to come up with something. I'm sure it won't take you're already thinkin' about it, aren't you? I knew it!
Thanks, Molly.
Now, don't you all feel a little bit smarter?
Who says you don't learn any thing on my blog--this is totally an educational site.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Cleanliness is next to Godliness

I have oh so much to do but I wanted to write a quick post about my temple cleaning experience last night. So, a sign-up sheet went around relief society a few weeks ago and being the service oriented person that I am I volunteered. Our shift was from 9:45 - midnight. I know--kind of late for farmgirl--but I did it any way.

We showed up, collected our attire for the evening (white scrubs), changed into them (side note: they are super comfy. i may need to be getting some from wal-mart and start my own fashion craze), and waited for our assignments.
I was put to work in the Baptistry. I vacuumed the locker rooms, vacuumed the chapel, dusted the chairs and desks, and then......
She presented me with my very own spray bottle of
-wait for it-
.....da ta da da.....
I just knew the church was true!!

Some of you might be aware of my obsession with cleaning in general. I LOVE to clean- very few things are more rewarding to me. I will concede that
keeping a clean house with six other people living here is a bit of a daily challenge and can be let's just say -some what frustrating- okay, okay totally madding, but it doesn't change the fact that I LOVE to clean. Cleaning with this magical stuff is my addiction. It smells clean when I'm done.

There you have it, Folks. The church is true and the fact that they use rubbing alcohol to clean the temple proves it. And let's not forget, I've been doing this for years so I've obviously been living a pretty good life...

That's it.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Raise Your Hand...

If you got one of these for Christmas.
Oooo! Oooo! Me! Me! I did! I did!

Mike and I are the proud owners of a baby wiener pig. This was part of the Christmas present my parents gave to all of us kids. How great is that? We think it's fabulous!
My mom and dad are going to raise them out for us, they'll be ready to butcher in the spring. Ahhh, one of the many perks of being farmgirl.

Eat up little porkies!
I'm glad we met, but I think it's for the best if we don't maintain a close relationship. We both need our space, we need to grow-you, especially-need to grow. This will work out for the best in the end. It's not you, it's me. I just happen to enjoy bacon, sausage, ham, pork chops and the like. And you, my little friend can provide me with all of those things. We don't want any one getting too attached, right? Thanks for understanding, you are a prince among pigs.

These little darlings, of course, are living on my parents farm. We went to visit over the holidays. We did more than just checke
d out the swine...

We went cross country skiing-
Here's Lucy with one of her best cousins Charlotte.
My very good sport of a brother-in-law Jason took them out many, many times.

We went sledding-

I know Mike and I look pretty fantastic.
Your all jealous, admit it. It was a great ride right up until I fell off and took Mike down with me.

My brother David built a bonfire. The kids had a great time getting it going. We had a hayride to take us to and from our sledding location; the creek. That's Grant in the red- he was never more than about a ten foot radius from the tractor. He is slightly obsessed. The fire deterred him only momentarily.

This is a picture of the back side of my parents farm (well, some of it any way)
We also did a lot of just hanging out, playing card games, eating, visiting and relaxing.

How beautiful is this picture?
This is the view from the back of the house.

I may be slightly biased, but I think my parents live in just about the prettiest place on Earth.
It is totally crazy being there with all of my siblings and their kids, we are a huge group.
The memories made are so worth the momentary insanity.
I love going home, it grounds me.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Who'd-a Thunk It?

Wow, my friends, snow porn? Really?? That's what tickles your funny bone? I'm going to be honest here. I posted that a week ago tonight and I had every intention of taking it down Sunday morning. I had decided I just couldn't leave it up, the prim and proper in me had won out. Our internet was down and that is the ONLY thing that stopped me. I'm glad you all have had a great 'ole giggle over the perverseness that we call normal around here- you big bunch of sickies. The next time something comes up that is completely and totally perverse, crude, gross, ridiculous or questionable in any way (i'm sure i will never be short on material considering the people i abide with) I will be sure to post it pronto. Just to keep the entertainment rolling for the public at large. Thanks for all the hilarious comments they are only encouraging me to do this kind of thing more often, you know you guys are killing Serious Mary Ann. If Crazy Mary Ann walks onto this blog it will kill Serious Mary Ann. A Mary Ann divided against itself cannot stand.

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Peeks last week...need this for noncommentors. Lame. commenting is cool.